Monday, July 27, 2009

Cerita Rakyat: Rm 50 dan Rm 1

Duit RM1 bertemu dengan RM50 lalu bertanya:

"Oii,lama tak nampak, mana kau pergi?"

RM50 puluh menjawab " Dah merata tempat aku pergi....
Pergi stadium tgk bola,
Naik STAR Cruise,
gi BKK naik AirAsia, lepak kat VIVO CITY,
tgk konsert Siti Nurhalizala , S'pore Idol la.. ...
banyak sangat tempat sampai tak terkira..... Eh, kau camner lak?"

RM1 menjawab perlahan seraya menunduk,
"Hmm..biasa lah..Balik-balik tempat sama..
Surau, Masjid, Surau... ".

' tahun 40an melayu takuut raja jadi mcm penghulu sbb omputih nk jd raja, melayu bersatu. tahun 69 cina menang pilihanraya, melayu bersatu. la ni ulang blk satu melayu nk jd raja, dia bersatu. jadi melayu ni bersatu bila kuasanya terganggu, kalo tak jgn harap bersatu' - source rahsia.


Baldimerah: yang dikejar x dapat, yg dikendung berciciran, guruh berdentum air ditempayan dicurahkan, pak kaduk menang sabung, habis kampung tergadai, biarkan saja luncai terjun dengan labu-labunya.
Baldibiru: Karam Singh Walia lg best la.

via Portégé G900

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Doktor sakit jiwa




Seorang gadis berusia 20-an menemui Dr. FAIZUL, seorang doktor pakar jiwa.......


Gadis : "Doktor, saya merasa amat marah pada kekasih saya sehingga saya memanggilnya lelaki bangsat. Ada kalanya saya rasa dia keterlaluan, dan ada kalanya pula saya rasa memang patut saya memanggil dia seperti itu...."
Doktor : "Hmm. panggilan itu memang hinaan yg agak melampaui batas untuk seseorang.. tapi, mungkin kamu punya sebab tersendiri memangilnya demikian. Ceritakanlah kpd saya agar saya dapat membantu.."
Gadis : "Ya memang ada.. pada satu malam kami berduaan dalam kereta di tepi pantai.Dia pegang tangan saya."
Doktor : "Dia pegang tangan kamu seperti ini?" dr Faizul memberi contoh.
Gadis : "Ya. seperti yg doktor lakukan"
Doktor : "Kalau hanya ini, tidak sepatutnya dia dipanggil bangsat. Itu tandanya dia tidak mau berpisah dgn kamu..."
Gadis : "Kemudian dia merapatkan badannya kepada saya dan memeluk bahu saya......"
Doktor : "Dia lakukan seperti inikah?"
Gadis : "Ya.. seperti inilah dia peluk saya doktor.."
Doktor : "Itu bukan bangsat, itu tandanya dia mau sentiasa berdampingan dgn kamu" kata dr Faizul.
Gadis : "Kemudian dia cium saya."
Doktor : "Dia cium kamu seperti ini ?"
Gadis : "Ya. Ciumannya sama seperti yg doktor lakukan."
Doktor : "Kalau sekadar ciuman seperti ini, masih belum boleh dipanggil bangsat, itu tandanya dia sayang kamu, kan ?"
Gadis : "Kemudian dia memasukkan tangannya kedalam baju saya & meraba2 saya doktor.."
Doktor : "Dia lakukan seperti ini kah?"
Gadis : "Ya, seperti yg doktor lakukan inilah cara dia memperlakukannya. ."
Doktor : "Itu bukan bangsat, itu tandanya dia mau membelai diri kamu.."
Gadis : "Kemudian dia menanggalkan semua pakaian saya satu persatu.."
Doktor : "Adakah kamu membantah tindakannya? "
Gadis : "Tidak, saya merelakannya sebab saya sayang dia.."
Doktor : "Dia tanggalkan pakaian kamu seperti ini ?"
Gadis : "Ya, sampai saya telanjang bulat seperti ini doktor...."
Doktor : "Itu masih belum layak dipanggil bangsat, kerana dia sememang ingin mengenali diri kamu sepenuhnya"
Gadis : "Kemudian dia mencumbui saya lalu melakukan hubungan seksual dgn saya ..."

(selepas seketika.... )


Doktor : "Dia lakukan seperti yg kita lakukan tadi kah?"
Gadis : "Ya. Memang itulah yg dia lakukan ketika itu"
Doktor : "hmm, itu juga masih belum boleh dipanggil bangsat. Itu tandanya dia memerlukan kamu kan!"
Gadis : "Tapi kemudian dia memberitahu saya bahawa dia ada HIV positif"

Doktor : "HAH?? DIA..MEMANG ... BANGSAT!!..BANGSAAA TTT!!!!.. LELAKI
BAAANGSAAAAAAAATTTT TT!!!!!!!!......

KESIMPULAN: DENGAR SAMPAI HABES BARU BUAT PENILAIAN




Baldimerah : Gelojoh punye doktor
Baldibiru : Arghks seluar aku koyak..kene repot kat suruhanjaya diraja neh..

Thursday, July 16, 2009

ada orang mati


Ini orang sudah mati.. Jatuh bangunan SPRM cawangan Selangor.. Nama dia Teo Beng Hock's. Katanya setiausaha politik adun kinrara. Beliau berada disitu kerana menghadiri siasatan oleh pihak SPRM, berhubung skandal rasuah besar-besaran dalam kerajaan Selangor.

Berita
klik sini

Maka ahlul2 politik pun menuduh SPRM bunuh dia.. Adus~~

Ishk..kalau aku nk bunuh orang, xde nye aku nak buat kat rumah sendiri..mengong..err..sapa yg mengong???

bro bru:: All sorts of people have started all kinds of cyber threads on the death of the DAP political aide but this one,t4tbh.blogspot.com, which was started on Thursday by an anonymous person/group, is bound to draw the interest of many parties. The blog is focused not on the tragedy but on the investigation purportedly being conducted by the MACC at the time of Teoh's death.





Baldimerah:: Anak Wayang
Baldibiru: Takziah pada keluarga mangsa dan bakal bini beliau
Baldibesi: Kurang seorang lagi rakyat 'malaysia'
Baldikayu: Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat..ehekS

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Antiforeigner discrimination is a right for Japanese people

my friends sent this article to my emel.. ada pulak tetiba satu ayat tulis Malaysia..well...interesting.

Thursday, Jan. 15, 2009

Antiforeigner discrimination is a right for Japanese people

By GREGORY CLARK
"Japan girai" — dislike of Japan — is an allergy that seems to afflict many Westerners here. If someone handing out Japanese-language flyers assumes they cannot read Japanese and ignores them, they cry racial discrimination. If they are left sitting alone in a train, they assume that is because the racist Japanese do not want to sit next to foreigners. If someone does sit next to them and tries to speak to them in English, they claim more discrimination, this time because it is assumed they cannot speak Japanese.

Normally these people do little harm. In their gaijin ghettoes they complain about everything from landlords reluctant to rent to foreigners (ignoring justified landlord fear of the damage foreigners can cause) to use of the word "gaijin" (forgetting the way some English speakers use the shorter and sometimes discriminatory word "foreigner" rather than "foreign national."). A favorite complaint is that Japanese universities discriminate against foreigners. How many Western universities would employ, even as simple language teachers, foreigners who could not speak, write and read the national language?

Recently they have revived the story of how they bravely abolished antiforeigner discrimination from bathhouses in the port town of Otaru in Hokkaido. Since I was closely involved, allow me to throw some extra light on that affair.

An onsen manager who allegedly had earlier been driven to near bankruptcy by badly behaved Russian sailors had decided this time to bar all foreigners from his new enterprise. The activist then filed a suit for mental distress and won ¥3 million in damages. In the Zeit Gist and letter pages of this newspaper, some have criticized these excessively zealous moves by the activists. These critics in turn have been labeled as favoring Nazi-style discrimination and mob rule. Maybe it is time to bring some reality to this debate.

Otaru had been playing host to well over 20,000 Russian sailors a year, most arriving in small rust-bucket ships to deliver timber and pick up secondhand cars. I visited the wharves there, and as proof I harbor no anti-Russian feeling let me add that I speak Russian and enjoyed talking to these earthy, rough-hewn people in their own language. Even so, the idea of them demanding freedom to walk into any onsen bathhouse of their choice, especially to a high-class onsen like Yunohana, is absurd.

The antidiscrimination activists say bathhouse managers can solve all problems by barring drunken sailors. But how do you apply a drunk test? And how do you throw out a drunk who has his foot in the door? Besides, drunken behavior is not the only bathhouse problem with these Otaru sailors. I can understand well why regular Japanese customers seeking the quiet Japanese-style camaraderie of the traditional Japanese bathhouse would want to flee an invasion of noisy, bathhouse-ignorant foreigners. And since it is not possible to bar only Russians, barring all foreigners is the only answer.

The antidiscrimination people point to Japan's acceptance of a U.N. edict banning discrimination on the basis of race. But that edict is broken every time any U.S. organization obeys the affirmative action law demanding preference for blacks and other minorities. Without it, U.S. President-elect Barack Obama would probably not be where he is today.

Malaysia has also ignored it, with its Bumiputra policy of favoring Malays over Chinese and other minorities. There are dozens more examples of societies deciding to favor one group of people over others in order to preserve solidarity or prevent injustices. A large chain of barbershops in Japan has signs saying service is denied to those who do not speak Japanese. Non-Japanese speakers probably cause much less harm to a business than delinquent Russians. But we do not see our activists in action there.

The activists say there should be action to educate Russian sailors in bathhouse behavior. But do we see any of the activists in the friendship societies where worthy Japanese citizens try to ease problems for foreigners living here? Not as far as I know. Presumably close contact with these citizens would also upset their Japan-girai feelings.

In Otaru the obvious answer from the beginning was to create a seamen's club similar to those that exist in many major ports. But here too the activists were very silent. It seems they prefer to move against weak targets where they can gain publicity with a minimum of effort. One result, either of the intensity of their beliefs or of their self-aggrandizement urges, is the vitriol they pour on those who have criticized their actions.

Sometimes their activism goes beyond even the absurd. Japan has long had a real problem of clever Chinese and Korean criminals taking advantage of Japan's lack of theft awareness to pick the locks and pockets of unsuspecting citizens. But when the authorities try to raise this problem, they too are accused of antiforeigner discrimination. Even companies advertising pick-proof locks are labeled as discriminators if they mention the Chinese lock-picking problem.

Obviously Japan needs precautions against these theft experts. Many, myself included, dislike the fingerprinting of foreigners at airports. But this too is needed to stop criminally minded foreigners from re-entering Japan after they have been caught and expelled. If anything the authorities are too lenient with these people. (Let me add that I also have no anti-China feeling; I speak Chinese too.)

It is time we admitted that at times the Japanese have the right to discriminate against some foreigners. If they do not, and Japan ends up like our padlocked, mutually suspicious Western societies, we will all be the losers.

Gregory Clark is vice president of Akita International University. A Japanese translation of this article will appear on www.gregoryclark.net.



Baldimerah:: hehehhe..hait hait wakarimasen..
Baldibiru: Famous btol Malaysia.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Dukun = Mona Fendi


Dukun = Kisah Mona Fendi

tetibe aku jumpa gambar ni..



ade sesape boley translate tulisan ni..?? apasal murah sgt awek melayu neh..uhukss~~~



Baldimerah: Mangsa, Presiden Sdara tahun berkenaan.. huhuhu.. Al Fatihah untuk Allahyarham
BaldiBiru: Aku takut tuhan, aku juga takut hantu, tapi aku lagi takut hantu dari tuhan..
BaldiBesi: Realiti.. hehehe~~


Cerita Rakyat 7: Muthu oh Muthu


MUTHU OH MUTHU
--------------------------

*MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER*

Interviewer: "What is your birth date?"
Muthu : "13th October."
Interviewer : "Which year?"
Muthu : "Every year."
*****

*MUTHU & HIS MANAGER*

The Manager asked Muthu at an interview... .
"Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?"
Muthu replied: "P-O-S-T-B-O- X."
*****

*MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*

After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?"
Wife: "No! Why?"
Muthu : "In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'. .. that's why."
Wife : ?????????
*****

*MUTHU & TOURIST*

A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village...
Muthu said, "No sir, only babies were born here."
*****



*MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*

Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to "WALK! WALK!"
The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same.
Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But the cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, "I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf."
*****

*MUTHU & DRIVER*

When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror.
Muthu shouted, "You are trying to see my wife, eh? Sit in the back. I will drive."
*****

*MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*

Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Muthu pointed towards the signboard

"* WASH BASIN * "
*****

*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART*

Interviewer : "Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?"
Muthu: "It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination. "
*****

*MUTHU & THE PRESS*

At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why??????????
Because a lady journalist with a badge which read "*PRESS*" pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... and he did it!



BaLdimerah: masa sekolah, "Ada seorang kawan, namanya muthu, dia juga berkawan namanya ahmeng, kami berkawan baik, sama sedarjah, belajar bersama main bersama. Hey hey hey hey hey hey 3 sekawan"

Baldibiru: Muthu ka Raju?

Baldibesi: Kesamaan semua kaum? 1 Malaysia? Hapuskan sekolah vernakular. Satu sekolah untuk semua..